Although healing was essential in helping to feel integrated and with more ability to access deeper levels of peace and joy, I still felt like I was in a frustrating cycle of endlessly trying to escape suffering. I was given advice to be grateful and meditate. And so I entered ashrams and joined others who were looking for enlightenment to transcend the pain body. I found temporary relief but still found myself struggling with going in and out of inner angst. Out of desperation, I left all advice behind and turned inward. At some level, I knew the answers had to be inside.
As I moved deeper into the stillness and essence of my true self, I stopped running and faced my fears, and began to sink deep into whatever was presenting itself at the present moment. Through embracing and pulling in the rejected aspects of myself and any woundedness, while staying still and grounded in the present moment, I discovered deep healing and a feeling of complete wholeness. This knowing is what ultimately set me free from my own suffering.